Big Macs and the Battle Within

Romans 7:15
For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

I’m a PK (preacher’s kid) who followed in my dad’s footsteps into pastoral ministry. One of my fondest childhood memories was heading to McDonald’s after church. After Dad took off his robe, we’d pile into the car for Big Macs—our “reward” for another Sunday in the books. Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun.

Thus began my unhealthy relationship with food.

I know I’m not alone. Food—so ordinary, so necessary—easily becomes more than fuel. It becomes comfort. Reward. Escape. “I deserve this. Just this once. I’ve had a hard day. Tomorrow I’ll eat healthy.” And then tomorrow comes with its own struggles, and the cycle repeats.

I know the cycle well. There’s a part of me that says, “Jay, this is hard. A Big Mac will help.” And another part that says, “Nice job, Jay! You earned a Big Mac.” And then there’s regret. Paul said it perfectly in Romans 7:15: “For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” That’s the language of every addict.

But there is hope. I’ve been learning and growing, and the “new man” in me is slowly winning ground from the “old man.” Here are four practices that are helping:

• I admit I can’t win alone. My willpower isn’t enough. Like the first steps of AA, I pray first: “God, help me.” Simple, but powerful.
• I remind myself of my true identity. My struggle doesn’t define me. I am a new creation in Christ.

  Romans 8:1
  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.

  Shame doesn’t drive victory—Jesus does.
• I let the new man instruct the old. Yes, I talk to myself. I say, “New man Jay, tell old man Jay that we’ve got a better comfort than food. A better reward than junk calories. The Gospel is enough.” It puts temptation in its place.
• I give the old man a new job. Lately I’ve been learning to cook. With help from friends and Gordon Ramsey’s Ultimate Cookery Course, I’m learning how to make food a joy again—healthy, beautiful, and redemptive. The old man is discovering that a homemade meal can be far more satisfying than fast food.

Do I still have bad days? Yes. Sometimes the old man still wins. But I also see him being transformed. Romans 8 reminds me:

Romans 8:31-37
If God is for us, who can be against us?…In all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.

So whether your struggle is food, alcohol, pornography, work, or something else—you are not a loser. In Christ, you are more than a conqueror.