No Pain, No Gain

No, Jane Fonda didn’t invent the “No pain, no gain” concept in the 80’s with her workouts.
In fact, it predates her by centuries.
In the Hebrew text Pirke Avot (Ethics of the Fathers) 5:23, Rabbi Ben Hei Hei is quoted saying “According to the pain is the reward.”
Classical Greek literature also carried similar ideas.
For example, Sophocles in his play Electra wrote lines meaning “Nothing truly succeeds without pain.”
And Benjamin Franklin said: “There are no gains without pains.”

But most famously, Jesus said it definitively:

Luke 9:23
Take up your cross and follow Me.

We live in a world where comfort is king, safety is sacred, and the highest virtue is “protecting your peace.”
Sounds holy enough—until you realize Jesus never once promised comfort as a spiritual path.
He promised a cross. He promised no spiritual spa packages.

Pain isn’t the enemy of growth.
Pain is the doorway.
Love is the risk.
And growth is the bruised, beautiful miracle on the other side.

Suffering: God’s Gym for the Soul

We recoil from suffering like it’s a divine error. But Scripture tells a different story—one where tears are tutors and trials are chisels in the hands of a loving God. The gym may build muscle, but it’s the furnace of affliction that builds character.

Romans 5:3–4
“We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character…”

Hebrews 12:6
“Those whom the Lord loves He disciplines.”

Psalm 119:71
“It was good for me to be afflicted that I might learn your statutes.”

God is not cruel.
He is committed.
And He loves us too much to let us stagnate into soft, self-protected shadows of who He made us to be.

The Mirror That Makes Us Flinch

A weight rack won’t build character.
A retreat cabin won’t heal your pride.
And scrolling curated smiles won’t sanctify your soul.

People will.

Someone who sees you—truly sees you—is a mirror you can’t negotiate with. A holy irritant. A gracious threat to your ego. Praise God for the sandpaper He sends. We don’t grow in isolation; we calcify there.

Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”

James 5:16
“Confess your sins to one another… that you may be healed.”

Galatians 6:2
“Bear one another’s burdens…”

Notice: none of those verses say marriage partner.
Paul knew. Jesus knew.
You don’t need a spouse to be sharpened.
But you do need someone.
Someone who knows your middle-of-the-night thoughts, not just your Sunday-morning persona.

The Mirage of Digital Connection

We have never been more connected—and never lonelier. Social media gives us the appearance of community without the cost of vulnerability.
It’s a relationship vending machine: push a button, get a dopamine hit.
Virtual applause is not the same as embodied love.

Studies (from Harvard, Stanford, and beyond) consistently show higher social media use correlates with increased loneliness, anxiety, and depression—especially among those with fewer face-to-face relationships.
And AI will only amplify the danger. It may assist us, but it cannot apprentice our souls.
A tool can serve you, but only a person can sanctify you.
So the more our interfaces mimic intimacy, the more we risk substituting it for the real, irreplaceable, deal.
A warm-voiced chatbot cannot replace a soul that can wound you—and therefore change you.

Risking Love Is the Only Way to Live

Real relationship requires real vulnerability.
Real vulnerability carries real pain.
And real pain is the birthplace of real transformation.
As counter-intuitive as it seems, avoiding pain avoids flourishing.
Safety can become a cage.
To stay safe is to stay shallow.

If you’re going to become more like Christ, you must walk the path He walked:
presence over protection,
love over self-defense,
truth over image,
risk over retreat,
cross before crown

Matthew 16:25
“Whoever loses his life… will find it.”

The price of love is exposure.
The reward is becoming human in the image of Christ.

An Invitation

If this hits tender places—good. Tender is where grace does surgery. And if you find yourself alone on this journey, pastor or pilgrim, leader or struggler, I’d be honored to walk with you.

This is why I created The Way Soul Care—for those carrying callings, wounds, dreams, and doubts in silence. For those brave enough to grow. For those hungry to be known and transformed. I can’t promise you no pain, but I can walk with you as you experience Gospel gain.